I recently realized that there are several ways people are about anti-racist education trainings and discussions.
This morning I got the idea of "shadow facilitating" when considering the idea. I will talk about this and other approaches I have noticed reflecting on my years in this conversation/work in this installment.
Shadow facilitating is often the most amiable way that we BIPOC show up to these trainings/discussions. I remember when I decided to attend a few Christian sessions about social justice when everyone was talking about this in June of 2020. When people say "social justice" like it is a topic in school, I hear them loud and clear while lowering my expectations. I definitely approached those sessions in another way, that I will also touch on. I approached them with a shade of "you're doing it wrong". In my case I didn't think they were doing it wrong, I was sure they were doing it wrong. 😆
In reality, there is no doing it wrong. I hope all people find a group that they can stomach walking through these conversations because progress is most important, however the journey looks. I don't suggest anyone stay in a group for life because we often grow beyond the container of the group, just like a plant; or at least I hope so. Sometimes repotting is necessary. 😊
Shadow facilitating is when a BIPOC is in a group meeting and pontificating about what they know versus, sharing and listening with the other participants, because facilitation is not their role there. It is also a maturing leadership practice. I noticed it a lot when I was a young activist attending guest lectures on campus. I still see it today, especially in activist gatherings. It typically happens in the Question and Answer period of an event. You may hear it mitigated by the host saying something like, "Ask a question, don't make a speech". 😆 In small groups, I have experienced people attempting to do their thing with a group of people they aren't officially facilitating. They often pontificate as I mentioned. I have also noticed that they give a speech, something they want to get off their chest with a group of people. They also often refuse to read the material and just speak on the topic without "reading the room" or understanding the flow. They are often missing the Kool-aid and the flavor... I often refer them to start their own group or to Resmaa.com so they can do the somatic abolition that we all need.
Another way that BIPOC people show up is by lurking. They desperately need the information, but they cannot let people know that they don't know what the facilitator knows. Shouldn't all Black people be able to teach this? No. I often say that BIPOC are targets of racism, and definitely feel the effects, but aren't always qualified to facilitate or teach the subject, and the last to admit it or behave like it. We often re-traumatize ourselves accepting opportunities to be the paid expert when we aren't aware that we aren't ready for that. I have noticed a bunch of people who I know have rarely considered the subject or known for discussing the subject before George Floyd's murder, out here posturing like they know. 🙄 I even had someone in the group address me like I am doing it wrong, wondering why there are any BIPOC in the group. *Poor them*.
I appreciate those who are hustling to get the knowledge, but not those profiteering while gleaning their knowledge from me, BIPOC or not. I guess "each one, teach one" applies here. Sure, teach what you know, but don't try to come off like you have the answers for everyone, not a good look. Actually, it is a practice much like the system I am trying to interrupt.
I let the lurkers of all backgrounds lurk, and I don't call them out. We had a great person join our Wednesday evening discussion group who spent the first six months lurking in the Anti-Racist Education Facebook group. Like I shared with a friend today as I reflected on CJ Hunt's statement questioning what the receipts are for when he considers the outcome of his research, "I don't do this work for white supremacists. I do it with people who (want to unlearn propaganda)". I said "reasonable people" earlier, but they are the same in my view. I want these ripples to reach as many people who would receive it as possible. Though, I know my boundaries and honor them; perfect segue to this next group...
Then there are the non-BIPOC people who are operating in bad faith. They are only lurking to spring up as a gas-lighter at some point. Even though I consider the motives of a person who wants to join the group before accepting their request, as soon as they do, they are booted after some investigation. It is sometimes hard for my friends to discern the difference, but this work isn't about agreement or rules for me. It is about people recognizing the systemic nature of the issues, locating themselves in the system and contending with how they engage the system, as a promoter or interrupter. With some people I work closely with them, and I contribute to those humble and aware enough to know that this subject is not their strong suit. I am able to discern the difference in people with some accuracy. Often people take a break and come back no matter what caused them to step away. Some never return. I really want people to find a circle/community that works for them.
I have had also had to kick some non-BIPOC out because I learned that they were only engaging me or the group to glean information trying to teach what I facilitate. 🤣I guess I make it look easy. 🧐 I loved something that I heard Sharelle Rosado say, "You may get the recipe, but no one cooks it like me". 🤨 Really, especially non-BIPOC should check out Resmaa.com for the same possibility, somatic abolition.
Then there are the awesome people that come to the work with their reasonable humanity in tow. Thanks so much for being you! I am here for you especially! Thanks for your dedication to creating a new world because as someone said, "it took people to create this problem, it will take people to solve it". Are there any other observations you have about this?
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