These words marked the beginning of the end of seasons with too many people I know. In one situation, I sent a text to someone important to me outlining a range of covert racism to overt racism, assuming we would finally have a conversation about racism. This person had been outraged when Mike Brown was killed and encouraged me to join the die-ins that were happening in Grand Central Station on my way home from work at 34th and 5th in New York City. They said they would be there if they were close enough. Instead, to my disappointed surprise, this person replied with, “So do you think I am a racist?”
I have found no response more unhelpful than this when a BIPoC consents to share about racism with a friend or loved one who is not a BIPoC. There is even sometimes a problem when biracial or multiracial friends who may identify as a BIPoC, raised primarily by a white parent or in whiteness relates to another BIPoC. As an aside, I imagine people have had that experience of me although none have had a healthy conversation with me about it. Among BIPoC the truthful conversation would look more like, “Since you speak without any kind of a perceivable accent and I can tell you are pretty educated, do you think you are better than me?” Instead, I have been met with outright violence at the worst, and terrible assumptions at best. Internalized oppression has been painful to interact.
I know what it is like to be misinterpreted, but access to a healthy conversation, especially when you have invested time and energy into friendship is a healthier approach. I do not take this approach where I am not inspired with new people. I peacefully leave people where I find them knowing that God has a great plan for their life if they grab hold of the goodness. Most people do not choose the healthier approach, it just is not our societal culture. When it comes to being confronted with ideas about racist promoting behaviors, too many white people have what is called a "fragile" (defensive) response with some version of the words in this entry’s title. Some people are defensive because they have always seen racism as a Nazi, KKK or hateful endeavor, which is true, but it is not the whole truth. Racism can be, and is carried out by the nicest white people. Oh, and if you are not familiar with my point of view, I believe only one racism exists as a system, the one fueled by the many lies associated with the big lie of white supremacy. Many keep referring to the lie about a stolen election as “the big lie”. I advise you all that there is a huge lie behind that one that has been with this country since before 1619.
I have heard so many people try to use any term other than (the lie of) white supremacy. More power to you, but make sure to add the word “lie” to it because no ethnic group is inherently more virtuous than others. The notion of potential supremacy needs to be separated from every human’s consciousness. What I am observing in the white population is the many reactions they are having to being confronted with the lies that they were raised on crumbling before them. For some, it is a welcome alignment to who they have always been, for others it is some spectrum of bad news. I will touch on three circumstances that the public could readily observe: Bill Maher, Sharon Osbourne and Randall’s journey with Kevin on This is Us.
In Season 5, Episode 13 – Brotherly Love, Randall and Kevin hash out the sibling rivalry that has been challenged by the undertow of what people call racial “microaggressions”. Kevin responds to Randall’s attempts to unpack his racial experience of being a Black person raised in an all-white family and environment in Pittsburg with disdain asserting, “You called me racist”. Randall responded to his adoptive brother with “No, I didn’t. You called yourself racist”. Kevin retorts with, “Oh, come on, why would I do that?” Indeed, why would anyone do that? It is the same dynamic that happened with Sharon Osbourne on the Talk with Sheryl Underwood, and maybe with the colleague I lost, but I will touch on it later. Kevin felt that Randall was ungrateful for his upbringing and the sort of parents that he had who would adopt him the way they did. In truth, the adoption served both the Pearsons and Randall. It is really never a one-way benefit, although in the unhealthiest adoptive families it can be perceived that way. Like with patriotism, Black and indigenous people have always been treated as if we are not the most patriotic group of people in this country, when we are. Doc Rivers, among several public figures over time have reflected on our loyalty to a country that has “never loved us back”. Our history of free and nearly free service, even when we could not vote, besides the terror that has been written on our DNA from generation to generation is enough for our patriotism to never be questioned, but still it is. This week we saw a member of the military pepper sprayed and terrorized in uniform for what amounts to nothing. I am so glad he thought to travel to a well-lit area for the traffic stop because "The Talk(s)" is helpful preparation. It may not stop the terrorism, but it will make a video easier to capture and view. 🥺 I know that whether micro or macro, it remains in the psyche of the target if it gets to land, and aggression rarely misses. I could write a whole article on each of these topics but I will reserve broader comment for another time. Sharon Osbourne was not fired for “one thing” as people keep asserting, as is often the refrain when one attempts to hold white people accountable. From what I understand, she has made many racist statements to and about her co-workers, besides the racist kitsch on her shelves at home as seen in a photo that surfaced recently with her husband in it. Sharon has wielded power for quite a long time in entertainment. I used to respect her for how she managed her husband’s career. Now she is only referenced by my psyche as a malignant enslaved person owning bully would be, rarely and with disdain.
Then, in the scramble for the first interview with her, Bill Maher did the predictable. He had her on Real Time for an “interview”. It was no interview. It seemed to me and my friends like a support group for people who do not want to face the ways they promote racism. They literally said as much during their tête à tête. Among the lies they told each other, neither Sharon or Piers Morgan were called a racist even though they agreed that was the truth of what happened. White people need to be careful of the ways they allow their defensive responses to color what gets reported by them, especially to others like the police. Again, I could write a whole article on what happened on that episode of Real Time but again, I will reserve comment.
Then I come to what I see as the decline of Bill Maher. Could it really be a decline when he has always been acerbic and arrogant? If you look at how he pontificates and comments on applause, especially since the challenges of doing his show during this pandemic, you will see a lot. I believe this started in 2017 when Maher called himself a “house nigga” on his show. This is an example of how familiarity breeds contempt. Bill used to have quite a few Black “friends” that appeared on Real Time. Since that situation, those appearances have been scant, and he’s been on a low key rampage about it ever since. I imagine that every time he rails against "cancel culture" (even though the system has been canceling Black people’s lives since the beginning), he is complaining about the accountability he rarely experiences because of being a person of immense privilege.
Whenever you hear a white person say they have been called racist, especially by a BIPoC, be circumspect. Usually, they measure themselves against what they are seeing or hearing and make that assessment themselves. Those who are familiar with my thinking know that I only call those who knowingly traffic in racism and hatred “racists”. I refer to anyone else in different ways as seen in this entry. Their self-righteous upset is probably about the absolute conflict they feel inside themselves when they see where they land in the matter of racism. Let me assure you, racism exists everywhere, and we have all been taught the same things. People with privilege in the many ways it expresses itself are often offended to learn the truth of their complicity. White people benefit from systemic racism, and BIPoC are the targets. When I hear people say, “white racism”, I know they have no idea about the truth of the system because there is not another kind in the known history of humanity. I am sorry that the system and its actors have done what they could to remain hidden since the beginning - that is over. Since 2015 I have sensed that we are in a season of the exposure of all of that. I do not know how to prepare you for the depth of deception connected to this system. There is almost nothing about what it has told white people about themselves, and about us that is true. It is almost like the many scenes in movies where some other entity knows the truth and watches others walk through the lies presented to them, like the Truman Show, or maybe what is coming up on WandaVision. 🤷🏽♀️
After inquiring if calling him racist was a rhetorical question, Randall offered Kevin a rhetorical answer, “Um, guilt?” My stepfather used to say, the only dog that yelps when you throw a stone into a pack of them is the one that got hit. I believe in all these cases it is about them feeling the stone. It is not only about guilt, but it is also coupled with the demonization they have carried for anyone they thought of as racist due to the sad job the media has done in educating themselves and the public about what racism is. Some would say that all parts of the system are working perfectly and as designed. 😒
Since racism became part of the public discourse, I notice that many reflect on racism as individual actions. Many do not acknowledge or believe the systemic nature of it as well. So, instead of addressing it individually and systemically, mostly we have only been dealing with it individually. Because of dealing with it individually only, many express confusion when they see its expressions throughout their lives. I will not spend a lot of time on this idea because it is encapsulated by one of my often-shared Neely Fuller quotes from 1971. He said, “If you do not understand (the lie of) White Supremacy (Racism) – what it is, and how it works – everything else that you understand will only confuse you.”
Let’s stop abiding confusion that hinders us from coming up with the solutions that will accelerate the change we want to see in the world. History can teach us that white people coalescing for their comfort and unity has only undermined the ideals that the United States promotes about itself throughout the world. The truth will set us all free…
Comments