Well, well, well... So much spiritual alignment... apparently, like this query of the dear Amanda Seales, some people seem to imagine that because we stand so strong for BIPoC, we don't have intimate relationships with "people who happen to be white". I am adopting this speaking of it as well. Some version of the question in the title of this entry gets asked of us with regularity, or we need to perform proving "not all white people". I don't choose to participate that way and have put away people from my personal life who require it. Honestly, I don't usually have to talk this much about race with my friends who happen to be white. And when we do, they initiate and carry the majority of the conversation with me. For me, the imagination that arises this question protects the system of the lie of white supremacy more than seeing our humanity, and certainly doesn't seek to interrupt it.
For me, the key distinction about all of my intimate relationships is that they have always treated me as a human and not an object. Race and racism has always been part of the conversation in some way with my friends who happen to be white, but not central to how and why we connect. They are reliable to call out/in racism in our experiences, often before I do. On the rare occasion that I bring something to their awareness, they take it like a baton handoff and we keep life moving, no wrestling involved, questions - maybe, wrestling never. A person's consciousness about race and racism goes into a new friend assessment, which is the case for someone of any race knocking on the door of my life.
This question reminds me of Dr. Kenneth Hardy once again. He speaks about how people find it hard to believe that we are able to engage white people without taking our rage, regarding life in this system, out on them. I invite you to watch Dr. Kenneth Hardy's videos and talk to good Black psychologists to try to understand. I will say, even your assessment of this capacity of ours has no historical lens. It is the very way we've always persisted since the start of this global system. Our ability to do so effectively is essential to being able to thrive as much as is possible.
I just posted a recording with some friends who happen to be white, because I got sick of seeing those who are "doing it wrong" in front of cameras and behind mics... even when white people are criminals getting more coverage than their victims, because it is always about white. Really, it is... no matter what arbiters of these beliefs want to deny in public, or without examination.
So, yes... as much as I was concerned with the potential reactivity of people to the prospect, I am sharing my platform with my friends who are so reluctant to center themselves that I had to ask them to trust me in engaging this conversation on a recording. There is no easy way to do it but I am thankful that God (The Originator of All Things) gave me what I needed to support myself, my friends and those who will have non-celebrities to inspire their lives and expression around being anti-racist. In the tradition of testimony service and small group dynamics, I invite you to watch. They represent many others I love who have proven themselves to be allies without any effort on my part to "bring them up to speed".
#Repost IG @amandaseales • • • • • • Picture making a whole Ass page to ask this dumbass question.
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