I have been mulling over the notion of repair for a few years now. I am also clear about why war is so prevalent. We haven't been valuing and developing the emotional muscle to repair, not performatively, but genuinely. We have been focusing on physical muscles to flex on people and groups.
There is a lot of stuff I have been practicing and living that now have names. I am so thankful for the naming. Putting a handle on stuff is so helpful. That is what naming does for me, I imagine it does this for everyone.
Repair is necessary in all engagements and relationships. The professional I trust the most has been working with people on this for many years. When it comes to romantic relationships, he wrote Monsters in Love (and this is a great conversation about the book). For the country, he wrote the Quaking of America and for the personal journey, he wrote My Grandmother's Hands. I don't know if he intended them to scale this way, but they do for me.
It is not just about romantic relationships for me. It is about familial and societal relationships as well. We are gonna need it in the post Trumplican era... and we are nowhere near past that.
I reflect on how some good parents teach their children to repair (sincerely discover apology), especially with their biological siblings. I remember the Get Along T-shirt videos I used to see.
There isn't one big enough for this country, but we have to start developing the skill personally, and scale it to the planet all at the same time. Please do it wherever and whenever we can in all relationships and at every scale. Develop agility in it and we will be on the path.
Unity is maturity. Let's not wait until aliens present themselves to value it. It is so immature of us to need an enemy to live this.
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