I've heard it from both sides of my friends, justified or not.
We are humans and instead of engaging with who people want me to believe they are, I engage with people as they are. Even though I am direct and I confront without fail, I never want to leave anyone dehumanized. I have observed that too many are busy trying to build, versus recognizing their credibility. They seem to do this in order to choose a team from which to shout down the other side with seeming agreement and impunity. Sometimes people take my requirement of their humanity as a threat because our society reinforces people to push their humanity away to feed ego, so for many, leaves few places to practice being human. Most people are completely out of touch with their vulnerability and their softness as I hear many reinforce people to be "hard".
I think being hard has made people highly reactive, along with other potential factors causing disconnection that gives way to meanness, and if unchecked, to violence. I actually made a decision that in healing from being reactive, a common condition of people who've gone through trauma, I would not allow anything outside of me to dictate my behavior. This, in my view is the opposite of being reactive, being self determined (me and God's guidance). Even in a heated conversation, I stay focused on the human, the ability to say what I need and what's really happening. I have slept very well my whole life and have no personal frame of reference for losing sleep. I have no desire to leave anyone sliced up with my mouth!
Dismissing people inside of hubris and self-righteousness based in anecdotal offerings is highly unproductive in the light of accomplishing societal change.
I hope that we will begin to heal inside of accountability and keep the vision in front of us, doing what we are personally inspired to do versus following the mob.
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