All my life with my grandmother, I never heard her curse, in the way that I understand what cursing means.
I have learned that cursing isn’t the words one uses – although she never used those words either, it is the spirit in which we speak. Even though my grandmother didn’t tell me that directly, in writing this, I see that is what she embodied as well.
I learned that one could cut another to the core with a certain wielding of “shame and disgrace”. In the face of disappointment, my grandmother’s refrain became “poor ___________”, with deeply felt concern mixed with disdain.
As I get older, I start to see some of her traits in me. Like, when people want to argue or their spirit seems disturbed, but unable/unwilling to choose anything else, I am inspired to end my part of the conversation by saying “poor you” or “poor us”.
I am certain that my grandmother knew the meaning of Matthew 5:3, “…blessed are the poor in spirit”, so I don’t believe her exclamation is related to it. I think it is related only to being poor in general. Unlike many, I don’t believe she thought of poverty as a horrible thing in and of itself. But she used her words well when offering that “poor _________”. It was an opportunity to lament the lack of ambition within and about us to do any better.
I hope to say “poor us”, “poor him/her/them” and especially “poor you” less. Scarcity is a lie… the world is abundant, but not with the greedy, there is never enough for them. Poor them.
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