Recently, I saw three ways that the conversation about child sexual abuse and rape is taking a new level, and I wanted to provide my vantage point about it and highlight them here.
Aly Raisman was recently interviewed by Trevor Noah on The Daily Show about a program she is participating in on Lifetime. During the interview she spoke about how a person’s abuse is handled by the people around them matters in how their healing progresses.
I can tell her community is supportive and her therapy is working because so many survivors don’t have the eloquence she is exhibiting in that interview even after many years. Even though each experience with this kind of violation is unique, I commend her eloquence and I am sure many survivors are blessed by it.
As an avid watcher of The Daily Show that I am, I also never miss an episode of Queen Sugar (SPOILER ALERT). In a recent episode, I appreciate the representation of a woman who needed to leave town because no one cared for her when she was being sexually assaulted. It really does matter how a person’s assault is handled.
There isn't enough written about the gaping racial disparity in missing, exploited and violated people of color. I believe if it was only Ms. Biles, if we heard anything of it, it would have been a blip on the screen. Just like this meme depicts about a tragic outcome between this couple who has been dominating the news for the past few weeks here in the US. As I mentioned in some other places, I am glad for the closure her family will get to experience, and filled with the despair about the lack of care when the victims look like me.
Then there was this photo I reacted to on social media.
Some will say that men won’t admit that they have raped someone. Some will hide behind the fact that their socialization has failed them by not adhering to “no, meaning no”, or knowing a person who is inebriated cannot reliably give consent. The other side of this is that survivors are silenced. If you see a survivor speaking out, they are overcoming a lot to speak out about their experience(s) with sexual abuse and violation.
If they don’t have the support of their family, they may be feeling isolated. If they muster the courage to report it, they may be re-traumatized by that process. If the violator is famous, they may have the power to cut off their ability to make a living. If the violator is family, they may be least of all, emotionally orphaned.
There is much that is written on this subject but until now, outside of the circles of survivors, no one was connecting the systemic dots to this. I hope you “do your research” and learn how to support survivors of all genders.
We can have a humane society for humans and not just pets if we do our own healing work.
More to come on that.
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